LA

I used to feel so at home back in the bay area in beautiful San Jose but now I feel so disconnected from it. There's nothing left there for me and it makes me so upset. I wish I could have that same exhilarating feeling and sense of nostalgia that I used to have when I drove my loyal, dependable RAV4 around the streets of home. I grew up there and I remember I used to have that feeling that nothing wrong could happen in San Jose and I was so happy. Emptiness. You were my favorite mistake. Now all that's left is a pile of fading memories and sometimes when I'm just doing random shit like cleaning my room and gathering my laundry up or working out at the ARC, I just start randomly thinking about everything that has happened this year and I just feel so sad. I feel like I'm in a personal war with myself at which I really find myself uncertain of which area comes up when I think of "home". I never know where I want to eat because everything I'm craving is back in LA and it's just not the same. NO, I do not want Miyaki or Fusion because I want Tomodachi. NO, I do not want Pho or Layang Layang because I want some fucking Noodle Planet. NO, I do not want Prospect McDonalds because I want Overland McDonalds. Hopefully, I can reconnect with San Jose sometime again but for now, LA is my home.